i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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