i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
