rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
