there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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