i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
A bitchslap is in order.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
