you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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