On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
