So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Randomize
