do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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