You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
