Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Randomize
