did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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