Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
