just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
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