Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
