i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
