I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize