Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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