i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
