So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize