It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
