Don't you send me to vm
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
