I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
