Just fell off a train. Bad.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
