Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
