This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
