bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
