I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
