Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
