Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
