i wish my penis had a tongue
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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