I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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