Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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