Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
