yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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