Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize