You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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