Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize