discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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