I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize