I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
