If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
no you cant smoke seaweed
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
