Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
