it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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