Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Randomize
