He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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