so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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