dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Panties = found
Randomize
