your room smells of hookers.
And success
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
