last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
