The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
