i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Randomize
