So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
