Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
