Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Alive.
So much puke
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
