I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
