I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Operation Purity has been aborted
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
