she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
