I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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