if you like me you must not know who I am
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I smell stomach acid.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
