You're completely useless in the revolution.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
My penis needs a shock collar
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Randomize